At around the time I wrote this, I came across Jade’s post on True Strength and heartaches’s post The Journey and I won’t lie, it spooked me a bit because we all wrote on the same topic, same feelings, at the same time. The strongest people are those who smile with scars, those that are battling with their inner demons. They go through anguish and still don’t complain. This poem is for those of you who have weathered the storm but are still holding on to hope, for those fighting the war.And even though life amputates each and every brimming hope and hurls anguish and anxiety, they still laugh or at least pretend to. They know that good times lie ahead over the horizon. They are brave. They are courageous. This is for you.
Her heart aches with memories
Of how it used to be
Things will never go back
To the way it used to be.
There is anguish
There is pain
Too much to process
Events that drive her insane.
She is not herself no more,
She never will be
Used to be young and naive
And now she is a tormented lady.
They say that it’s the past that plagues you,
For her it’s the present that traumatizes her
No matter where she goes,
Hurtful words keep hitting her.
She tries to erase those moments
She tries to restart it all
But they still ridicule her
They still catcall.
Betrayal, lost loyalty
Loved ones turning against her
Her whole world turned upside down
Trustworthy people got even fewer and fewer.
She feels she is the standard
With whom they compare
The others are always a step ahead
The others require greater care.
The others are always better
No matter what they do
Doesn’t matter if they are clumsy
They still much better than any of you.
She wants to escape it all
She wishes she was blind
She wishes she never grew up
She wishes they would leave her behind.
She fears she is going into depression
She fears they will drive her mental
She wishes she could care less
But all efforts prove detrimental.
So now she pretends
She is the best faker
She pretends it’s all right
She is so good at it, they all believe her.
They still don’t leave her alone
They still degrade her
Worst of all is that they don’t realise
That they are hurting her.
So they keep punishing her
For no fault of her own
They keep hating on her
They treat her like she is disowned.
They say she is too sensitive
That little words hurt her easy
They throw passing words that punch her in the gut
She cries alone at night, her sight gets hazy.
Her mum had warned her
Of strangers outside
But mum never warned her
That loved ones could lie.
The most dearest to you
Can become your enemies
They can use your secrets and flaws
And plan their next strategies.
So now she keeps mum
She stays aloof
They call her out for that as well
Her new nickname is rude.
It’s not like she didn’t try
Even tried being extra nice
No use at all
They were still stony iced.
It’s a lost cause
Her words always get misconstrued
She doesn’t know what else to do
She is only 22.
At only 22
She is tired and weary
She has lost all hope
Her life seems dreary.
She doesn’t trust anyone anymore
She is wary of strangers
But she is even more cautious
Of people who claim they are hers.
Because the greatest lesson
That life could teach her
Was that people who she never could imagine
Could one day turn against her.
They are liars
They only tell lies
They are hypocrites
Their words disguised.
She is strong
She stands tall
But once in a while
She breaks down and bawls.
Because her heart aches of memories
Of how much fun it used to be
And she hates to admit it
But things will never go back to how it used to be.