At around the time I wrote this, I came across Jade’s post on True Strength and heartaches’s post The Journey and I won’t lie, it spooked me a bit because we all wrote on the same topic, same feelings, at the same time. The strongest people are those who smile with scars, those that are battling with their inner demons. They go through anguish and still don’t complain. This poem is for those of you who have weathered the storm but are still holding on to hope, for those fighting the war.And even though life amputates each and every brimming hope and hurls anguish and anxiety, they still laugh or at least pretend to. They know that good times lie ahead over the horizon. They are brave. They are courageous. This is for you.
Her heart aches with memories
Of how it used to be
Things will never go back
To the way it used to be.
There is anguish
There is pain
Too much to process
Events that drive her insane.
She is not herself no more,
She never will be
Used to be young and naive
And now she is a tormented lady.
They say that it’s the past that plagues you,
For her it’s the present that traumatizes her
No matter where she goes,
Hurtful words keep hitting her.
She tries to erase those moments
She tries to restart it all
But they still ridicule her
They still catcall.
Betrayal, lost loyalty
Loved ones turning against her
Her whole world turned upside down
Trustworthy people got even fewer and fewer.
She feels she is the standard
With whom they compare
The others are always a step ahead
The others require greater care.
The others are always better
No matter what they do
Doesn’t matter if they are clumsy
They still much better than any of you.
She wants to escape it all
She wishes she was blind
She wishes she never grew up
She wishes they would leave her behind.
She fears she is going into depression
She fears they will drive her mental
She wishes she could care less
But all efforts prove detrimental.
So now she pretends
She is the best faker
She pretends it’s all right
She is so good at it, they all believe her.
They still don’t leave her alone
They still degrade her
Worst of all is that they don’t realise
That they are hurting her.
So they keep punishing her
For no fault of her own
They keep hating on her
They treat her like she is disowned.
They say she is too sensitive
That little words hurt her easy
They throw passing words that punch her in the gut
She cries alone at night, her sight gets hazy.
Her mum had warned her
Of strangers outside
But mum never warned her
That loved ones could lie.
The most dearest to you
Can become your enemies
They can use your secrets and flaws
And plan their next strategies.
So now she keeps mum
She stays aloof
They call her out for that as well
Her new nickname is rude.
It’s not like she didn’t try
Even tried being extra nice
No use at all
They were still stony iced.
It’s a lost cause
Her words always get misconstrued
She doesn’t know what else to do
She is only 22.
At only 22
She is tired and weary
She has lost all hope
Her life seems dreary.
She doesn’t trust anyone anymore
She is wary of strangers
But she is even more cautious
Of people who claim they are hers.
Because the greatest lesson
That life could teach her
Was that people who she never could imagine
Could one day turn against her.
They are liars
They only tell lies
They are hypocrites
Their words disguised.
She is strong
She stands tall
But once in a while
She breaks down and bawls.
Because her heart aches of memories
Of how much fun it used to be
And she hates to admit it
But things will never go back to how it used to be.
I was going to write something else but then I read the comments… This is your FIRST try at poetry???!! It is really really really good!
You are surely going to go a verrryy long way dude! 😀 😀
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Awww really? You are too sweet. So sweet that I might get cavities.
Thanks for the encouragement Meena.It highly motivates me. And I am glad you liked it 🙂
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Hahahaha!! Don’t blame me for all the cavities you get from the candies you eat! 😛
Write more, please! Would love to read em all 🙂
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Hahaha I won’t 😉
Awww now staaap. My tooth just cracked with a cavity. As gross as that sounds, you are too sweet Meena. I shall be writing soon and plenty. I need to find time. I haven’t even found the time to stalk your blog 😦 But I will soon and that’s a promise 🙂
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This is a really heartfelt poem. Amazingly written.
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Thanks Poppie 🙂
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Did you try to depress us? Because you’ve done it well! Haha just kidding.
I mean of course, it deeply touched me but it’s only because it’s brilliant and well written, sister. And maybe because it remind me a hurtful part of my past..
Anyway, If this is your first poem, then you should definitely try to write more poetry! You express powerful feelings with simple words, it is just wonderful 😉
May Allah bless you!
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Awww no I hope I didn’t haha.
Thanks sister. And yes I guess it strikes a chord deep within us who have experienced such hurt.
I most definitely will try poetry. Thanks for your encouraging words.
May Allah bless you too sister 🙂
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That was ethereal. You are so great in depicting every single instance so perfectly that I got indubitable of the talent you possess. 🙂
keep up the great work.
“Her mum had warned her
Of strangers outside
But mum never warned her
That loved ones could lie.”
I’m going to remember these lines now for long. Purely addictive. 🙂
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Thank you so much. Your sweet comment and appreciation for my attempt at poetry made me smile wide 🙂
To be honest those four lines are my favourite too. I get the chills reading those lines. I am glad you liked it too.
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It certainly deserved more than just a few mere words of appreciation.
That was a great attempt I must say. 🙂
Oh! So great! Seems like choices are being transferred between us. 😉
These lines struck me really hard. I can’t convey just how hard! 😛
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Thank you so much 🙂
I am glad it struck to you the same way its effects had on me. Thanks again 🙂
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The thought, strength and determination behind this poem is breathtaking. I have many a time attempted writing something deep and meaningful but it often sounds forced and cliche. The raw emotion behind your writing is amazing. I’m so proud.
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Awww thank you 😘. Your comment made my day.
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Wow this is so raw and emotional. I love this though … there are so many feelings that we all keep bottles up, and you will never know what another person’s situation is like or what they are going through. Love love love this !
Saira
http://www.throughtheglitterglass.wordpress.com
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Thanks Saira. I am glad you were able to feel the emotions I was trying to portray.
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Love this. 🙂 Also wanted to say that I really love your blog and I have been loving it for a while, so I nominated you for the One Lovely Blog award 🙂 For more details, check out https://sarcasticbeautyqueenx.wordpress.com/2015/10/10/one-lovely-blog-award/
Xx
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Thank you 🙂
And thanks for the nomination.
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In general when I read posts which portray similar emotions, I try to say something positive about life, hope and people in general. But there’s a certain sort of rawness and honesty in your writing that simply makes me recall all those incidents I’ve come across, where people have been betrayed by the ones dear to them and I can’t find a word of two of solace to counter the horrible memories.
Betrayal is not a recent evil but today there are more voices who’re crying out loud their stories. It always makes me wonder how careless and casual people can be so as to not factor in the consequences their actions can have on others around them, others who trust, love, respect and possibly even idolize them.
This is a great piece. Much love to you ❤
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Same here. I am that cheerful person who avoids talking or even acknowledging sad feelings and always try to reinforce cheerful and hopeful attitude but sometimes it’s ok to feel down. To show it. To let it out. We are humans after all.
The shock after the betrayal always gets to me and fascinates me. I have seen instances where a person gets betrayed by a friend, a loved one, some times their very own son and the hurt is much more than if an enemy does the same. I guess it’s because you were expecting your enemy to hurt you but not your own people.
Thanks Adi.For your love and support.
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Okay, who let the stupid ninjas out. Damned ninjas and their damned onions.
Jokes aside, though, this touched something deep inside me. I admire people who can laugh in the face of adversity. Yesterday, I was talking to a colleague whose wife died recently. He is almost my father’s age, and one of the funniest guys around in my workplace. Every day he will crack jokes and cheer us up whenever we are under stress. Yesterday was no different. But then he remembered something and he stopped for a while. Then he shared how much he misses his wife now because he always took for granted some of the small things she did every day. While he was saying those things, his eyes reflected the intense pain he was carrying.
Then all of a sudden, he was back to his old self and was joking as if everything was normal. But this time I couldn’t laugh. I had glanced past his visage of cheerfulness and it killed me. And I wondered how can a person be this strong.
Thank you for this wonderful poem, Aaliyah. I sincerely hope that the character you have portrayed is fictional and has nothing much to do with you or anyone else in real life.
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What started out as a happy anecdote suddenly took a sharp turn towards tears! Should have guessed so. Your reaction was so sincere!
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Well, you know. Some things are like that.
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Adi is right. Your reaction : the fact that you understood the pain behind the smile was thoughtful and sincere.
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Thank you. I guess I have seen a lot of people who hide behind such masks.
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Haha damn those ninjas.
Thanks for sharing your colleague’s story. That is so brave of him that after his momentary relapse of missing his wife, he was back to his jovial self. True strength. And I wonder how he must feel when he goes back home after a long day and silence greets him. He stands at the doorway and memories of his wife rushes past him. And he returns back to office with that visage of cheerfulness like you said.
Thanks Ershad. My first attempt at writing poetry and it is encouraging to not only read all comments but the fact that it touched fellow bloggers some way or the other.
Oh but if only this world was fictional with fictional feelings and fictional people so that after you finish reading it, you could close the book and return back to the world inhabited by happy selfless loyal people. But alas, they are only fiction and the reality is much more cruel.Such things do occur.But thank you for the wish.
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Yes, I wonder that sometimes too. That is what amazes me about him.
I was afraid of that. The world needs empathy more than anything. Stepping in somebody else’s shoes and looking at things from their perspective. We are always ready to judge, always ready to ridicule, always ready to taunt.
I pray that Allah grants us all the virtue of empathy.
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You are right. We need to be more empathic. We need to lend a ear and understand where he or she is coming from.
Ameen.
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AZ you put this up very awesomely! Don’t stop writing.
I read the other bloggers post and then I read yours.I like all of them.
The girl in the poem is indeed very brave. 😦
All of us build an armour for ourselves but at times that armour is useless.It becomes useless when we grow out of shape,we don’t fit in that armour any more.That is the time we need to think and let a change within us be born to compensate for the loss of that armour. Perhaps a new shield to block those comments made by judgmental people.OR a mightier sword to eliminate those negative thoughts.
I hope this makes sense to you as it does to me. (:
It takes time,patience and alot of convincing oneself with own thoughts.Letting the positive part of the mind take charge. We can if we will and we will we can be braver,stronger and greater than we were before.
See,that’s the thing about moving forward.You can change,you can forget.More importantly you can learn.
No one can make you relive those awful memories,but if YOU let them or YOU let YOURself then you will suffer.
The world is a cruel place.Sigh.
May ALLAH SWT help us all become better at being braver,reward us for our tough times and give us more patience.
Sorry for the essay. XD But hey you said I can write whatever goes in my head. 😛
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Thank you for your sweet comment. My first attempt at poetry and I am glad you enjoyed it.
That is such a beautiful thought.I love analogies and the armour example is fantastic. I wish there actually was such a shield. How helpful it would be because try as we might, some stuff does really hurt even if you wish to ignore.
And yes that is what I have learnt. You can’t change the person hurting you but you can change yourself. You can move ahead. And learn to heal.
Ameen. Thanks for the dua.
Haha don’t apologise. I appreciate that you took the time out to read my post and comment how you felt about it.So thank you.
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Oh yeah I haven’t seen any other poem on your blog! Nice try! 😀
I’m glad it made sense. XD
Sigh.I hope we learn to make that shield it is necessary in this cruel world.
Sum Ameen!Welcome.
Welcome again. (:
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Thank you 🙂
Haha it totally made sense. You write eloquently 🙂
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Thank you!
It means alot. 🙂
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Thank you for the link in dude! I got to read this! Its beautiful! And maybe sometimes we want it to the way it was but actually need to move forward cause that’s how’s you grow!
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Thanks Jade. I was seriously creeped out when I read your post coz I was like whaat? She beat me in writing by posting first. Noo fairr haha. Great minds think alike eyy?
And you are right. Struggles make you a man errr I mean woman 😛
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I had written this particular one really before! Like I used to read it when I used to feel dumb and stuff. So I went like the blogosphere shall hear bout it! So I made them read it xD but I felt like posting it just yet! Great minds do think alike 😉
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And you did a good thing. I am glad you decided to share 🙂
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I am glad too! Thanks ! 🙂
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That got to me so deeply. I feel for her 😦 although she’s symbolic, she relates in different ways to everyone. It was written in such an awesome way!
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Thanks revels. It was my first attempt at poetry and I was shy to post. But reading all the comments made me satisfied and happy.
And I am glad I was able to portray the emotions in the way I had hoped to. Thanks again 🙂
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Very beautifully written, the girl in the poem is really brave. She shouldn’t forget that Allah Almighty is always with her n that is her real strength. You made me feel the warmth of tears on my cheek. 😦
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Thank you.Your comment warmed my heart. And yes alhumdulillah Allah is and will always be our strength.
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