Australian Horror Story

You know how they show people waking up from nightmares, screaming their heads off because well, they had a nightmare of zombies or scary clowns or whatever they are afraid of?

Well I had my first one last night. A nightmare that woke me up. Shook me right and proper.

When someone asks me about my deepest darkest fear, I have the answers ready. I have irrational fear of heights,elevators/escalators, driving and spiders (fear of spiders would be counted rational though right?) But I didn’t realise what scared me the most until now. I have had a nightmare for each of my phobia at a certain point in my life.

Disclaimer : I am weird. My brain is weirder. My dreams/nightmares are weirdest.

Nightmare 1 : I am on top of a cliff with someone (don’t know who this crazy girl is and I don’t recall) and she keeps insisting in a soothing tone that it’s ok to jump from the cliff I am on, to a nearby one just a metre away. But I keep looking down screaming unable to do it.

I have forgotten to mention that while I am having such nightmares, I am aware that it’s just a dream. I am in my REM phase and as such know that I can wake myself up before it ends. I don’t though. I mean might as well watch a horror movie for free yeah? Especially when you are the main character of the movie.Ok quit joking Aaliyah. Focus.

Anyway so the cliff I am standing on suddenly crumbles and starts breaking and I go down along with it.My eyes open slowly.Not panicking too much.Momentarily confused as I adjust to reality that my bed is just a metre away from the ground not 1000 metres away.

Nightmare 2: I am at my university, heading to a lecture, waiting for the elevator. The elevator arrives and everyone rushes to it. I am the last one to board and as I run towards the elevator, the doors start closing.Now in normal situations, the sensors at the door pick up the motion of a person and don’t shut. But since it’s a dream, that’s exactly what happens. The doors close on me and well, it is a brutal and painful end.Eyes flutter open thanking Allah it’s just a nightmare, nothing else and a reminder that stairs are always good. Physically and mentally.

Nightmare 3: I am in the car, this time in the driver’s seat. And I am driving along this solitary road wondering when did I get my full license to be driving by myself at night all alone. And I don’t even know where I am heading, just driving aimlessly until all of a sudden, a huge truck appears out of nowhere. It is huge. As huge as a train. In fact it resembles more of a train the way its hooting. I freeze and my hands are off my steering wheel, legs off the pedal just sitting in my car watching the truck thundering towards me in fascination. The truck driver is shouting for me to move but the truck horn is even louder and at the back of my mind I can see my imminent death but I do nothing. I am paralysed. The truck comes and crashes and suddenly the silence that engulfed me when I was frozen moments ago, is suddenly broken by the crash, metals getting mangled, my body getting jerked forward and then backward all too quickly.And although I am lying dead, I can hear the driver cursing and I want to apologise because it’s my fault for not moving even though he was shouting and honking so loud it would have woken the dead (Irony eyy?). Eyes open, not really wanting to because I want to say sorry to him, but it’s no use ; he is not listening.

Nightmare 4: This dream is inspired by Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets (Don’t laugh or else I shall take you with me the next time I go :P).The movie scene where Harry and Ron are in the forest and witness Aragog. It is the exact same forest and the exact same humongous black hairy spider with gigantic beady eyes is staring at me (I am shuddering as I recall the memory). Again I am paralyzed to do anything. My eyes won’t listen to my brain that tells it to close because maybe the spider might disappear when you open them again. It seems all my body parts refuse to listen to the brain because the mouth doesn’t want to scream like in horror movies and the legs refuse to run. My eyes are wide open in fear, mouth wide open in shock, brain sending mental missiles to launch the adrenaline : the fight/flight hormone but the missiles don’t land at targets. I don’t fight (it’s useless) and I don’t take flight. The spider sensing no motion from me, proceeds towards me, shaking the whole forest. I stand there welcoming death with open arms. As its monstrous mouth open, my eyes open up to reality expecting to see the spider by my bedside but find my cat purring instead.

Nightmare 5 : This is the one that occurred last night. I am with my loved ones at some embassy and we are filling forms. All of a sudden, the scene shifts and we are sitting on a ledge atop of this tall tall building. Might be on the 170th floor.Now my loved ones know I am afraid of height so they push me in towards the building and they themselves are sitting at the edge. We are still completing the form and talking to each other when the inevitable happens. One of them falls over. Just like that. No push, no nothing. And I push my face against the glass building and start crying before I even hear the inevitable. This time my eyes close.This time my heart shudders. This time it feels real. This time I am not in command and it’s not a dream. I see the others looking down with pain. That searing pain. That feeling like someone is scorching you with a burning stick or tongs and you can’t do anything to avoid it because your hands are tied. Only this time, our tongues were tied and it was the heart that was getting scorched. Soon officials arrive and are nudging me,gently pushing me away from the ledge on to the stairs into the building but I don’t want to leave. I just want to sit and cry and cry. I want to close my eyes and stay there begging them to leave me alone. And again my eyes betray my brain. They leap wide open.I shoot up from my bed.The scream that I had pressed inside pierces through my mouth in a shrilling scream and I am awake, confused because this time it didn’t feel like a nightmare that I was in control of. No, this time it felt too tangible.My heart is still thumping with fear 15 minutes later. I realise that I am clenching to my bedsheet so tightly that my fists have turned white and a continuous flow of tears is streaming down. It takes a while for me to settle down but oh that dream keeps haunting me. It is so vivid, everything is so clear that would I wish to forget a small detail I could not. I wish it was me falling to my death instead of my loved one. That’s the strategy Aaliyah working inside. Working on how to fight the situation next. And I already know that I won’t be paralyzed next time. I know that next time I shall push them all towards the building and sit at the edge of parapet. No matter what. Because it’s not my death that scares me. It’s my loved ones.

So now if someone asks me what is my biggest fear, I won’t be answering spiders, height or elevators anytime soon. Its that hopeless feeling of losing your loved one. A feeling that shook me in my nightmares and shook me awake from it.A terrorizing momentous feeling that makes me pray everyday that I am the first one to be taken away from my loved ones than to have to face the helpless feeling of my loved ones being taken away. Because my heart is weak. And I am weak. I can bear getting crushed by elevators and roaring trucks but not by the goodbye of my loved ones.

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58 thoughts on “Australian Horror Story

  1. Can I just firstly say that I’m so proud of your blog? No? Well, I’ma say it anyway – I’m so proud of your blog. The way you take the tiniest instances in your life and write an entire post on it is incredible! Your blog has grown so much in such a short period of time. This post really hit home. The thought of losing someone close to you is the scariest thing to ever comprehend and we only ever think about it when someone is taken to hospital or falls severely ill, if then. Even then we try to escape our own thoughts and try not to think about it. The only way to truly prepare is simply to enjoy every minute of life and the presence of those whom we love and let them know that too. May Allah protect us all and our beloved.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awwwww yes you can. You have full right to say that because you have been my mama bear supporting me from the beginning when I was a wee liddle blogger 😛
      You are right on that. To enjoy life and presence of loved ones.
      Ameen, thank you for your thoughtful and sweet comment. Bought a smile on my face.

      Like

  2. Actually dreams do have some benefits.. 🙂 They are a good indicator of your state of mind, in some ways. If it is a dream of falling from heights, it usually means you are worried about your future, your prospects, your career etc. The fear of failing. The same if it is chasing after a train or trying to finish a paper in an exam, trying to catch up to the rest of your relatives walking away from you or driving away.. the angst is actually some kind of self-reinforcement that they need to be around you, that you cannot afford to lose them. Ah ok, not exactly dream theory, but dreaming is good for you. These dreams (and mind you, I am not a big fan of dream interpretations) tell us that you are driven, ambitious, fearful of failure and you need to win 🙂 So, a good thing, after all. Hope you are well, Aaliyah. Take care.. 🙂

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  3. This is literally the only fear I have in my life. I realised it long back but I still haven’t figured out a way to stop fearing this. Like, you are scared of snakes, you devise plans on what to do when a snake is near you right?
    But for when we lose someone we love, it’s just helplessness! :/

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  4. ran a chill in my spine! especially the last one! my heart is weak too! some times i have wierd dreams too and I wake up restless ,tired ..scared.Most the of time they r coming from shaitaan ! I say la haul and try to sleep again.. Take Care my Dear sis! May Allah protect you in your dreams too from shaitann,our own nafs and fears!

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  5. Nightmare – check, Spiders – check, HP fan – check, not studying – check! 😉
    We have a lot in common!

    Don’t worry too much about bad dreams. Often they’re just a way of letting off steam. Everyone gets these. Forget about them later on. Personally, I don’t like writing them down. It just sticks around for a longer time than I’d intended it to.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahaha you always remind me of my biggest nightmare of not studying and failing exams in every post.
      Hmmm maybe you are right. I had this a few days ago and it scared me to the point that I had sleepless nights. So I thought maybe writing it out would clear my mind. Not sure if I did the right thing now that you say that.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Ya rabbee.. U must have had an awful night! -_- I hope u did make up for that sleep you missed! I too agree with you!! Whatever phobias we have, are too silly when it’s compared to losing your loved ones!! The fright it gives!! Sub haan Allah.. I wish this was the only thing I will never have to stand up and watch ever! But it’s inevitable as you might claim! And I must admit sadly that it’s a plain reality too!! And yaa I do suggest doing the adhkar before going to sleep in order to avoid getting such dreams ever again! I know you might find it a little difficult at beginning, but believe me I haven’t seen any nightmares for a while due to them! Subhaan Allah splendid are Allah’s ways! If you want them please do let me know, In sha Allah will provide you with proper links to them! 😛 Hope this helps! 😉

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  7. I agree with you at the end. I’m not as afraid of my Iown death than I am of my loved ones dying. It’s a horrible feeling. May Allah keep them fine.
    And that happen to me too, when you’re in a nightmare and you can’t do what you want to, need to. Can’t scream loud enough, there’s no voice any more. Can’t run fast enough.
    Shudders

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  8. I think I have an irrational fear of having a nightmare. I have never had one before so I’m dreading it. Thnaks for sharing your experiences, I sort of know how it feels now and I know for certain that I do not want to feel like that anytime soon.

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  9. Imagine a 24/7 dreamer reading this and smiling that her nightmares are more scarier, still she’s a strong girl and never gets afraid of them. 🙂
    This was a nice post to read, humourous, serious, mazay ki.
    Want to know my creep fact 2? I dream, I dream vivid, They have plots – varying from a short story plot to a novel plot, They come true, most of the time – signs or acts of people or precautions, I do get nightmares and its the worst part – thank fully they don’t come true much often, and… I write my dreams down! Because I can’t just tell people I saw them and stuff like that because they call me crazy. So I have stopped. But seeing you write something about it made me happy – kind of- because its another similarity of us that I just found.
    As far as these dreams are concerned, they are just your conscious and unconscious fears, and your repressed desires that came out like that. So don’t worry. You’ll be fine.
    Dreams have their narratives. Sometimes you see yourself doing stuff in them, sometimes you just stand there watching stuff happen, sometimes you are the one telling a story, and sometimes you are unable to say anything because you just can’t. (And I personally hate dreams like that). The control thing though, I thought I was alone in that. Since the day I studied Freud’s dream theories, I know in my dreams that I can control them, that this torture can end if I open my eyes, still I decide to go on just because of my frickin curiosity.
    And hey, have you ever tried to sleep again to complete an incomplete dream? Because I have, and it continues! Haha. Oh gosh I sound like a spooky-dream-expert 😀
    Anyway.. Sometimes dreams are just dreams, Aaliyah. Just like sometimes a cigar is just a cigar 😉
    I am so sorry for such a long comment. But I can’t just shut up when people are talking about dreams. Dreams are my thing. And I love talking about them. (And scaring the hell out of people. I am not trying to scare you though). Take care.
    [wese nightmares nahi batane chaiyen. my mum always stops me saying ‘isay Allah tumhare haq me behtar karay’ so obvio I write them down. I have this thick pile of loose papers full of dreams now. ]

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    1. Where do I begin Mahaah? Hmm first off write a book on dreams. You certainly sound an expert 😛
      And wow are your nightmares even horrifying than this? I am curious now. did you have Godzillas?
      Amazing how you are in author mode even in dreams with plots and characters.And yes you are right. Dreams are just my inner fears in the subconscious unleashing out. But its so weird because for me I am not in control off the settings. The scenes change too fast to understand what’s going on.
      Ikr? I feel i am curious too and wish to see my doom then wake myself up.
      HAhahahaa yeaah maan I did try doing that. One time I was having the dream of my life and got woken up and I was frustrated because it was such a good dream and Iwent back to sleep to finish it off. Its like pressing the play button after pause haha. We both are creepy weirdos aren’t we?
      Hahaha lets have a full blown chat on dreams. I don’t mind either coz its the stuff of psychology and we both are psychos who don’t have studying to do.
      Hmm the thing is this ki yeh nightmare ne mujhe bohat raaton se pareshaan kiya huwa hai. I couldn’t sleep properly. Writing it down and talking it out with you all se thora relief mila hai. In sha Allah I shall be able to sleep tonight. If not, nightmare post 2 😛

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah I have this on my to-do-list-before-I-die. Lets see if I change my mind at the last moment. :p Oh thank you for the compliment.
        Yes they are. Haha no not like that. They mostly contain me racing here and there saving people from the falling debris of buildings during Armageddon. Or big fire balls falling from sky. Stuff like that. Others – I won’t post online obviously. And one thing I hate to see is.. like there’s always this exam thingy and I have a limited time of three hours to complete it and during that I get other important tasks to do and the clock ticks and tocks and ticks and boom. Time gets over and I fail.
        Exactly. One of my friends once said that “Khuab hai kay poora novel?” 😀
        Exactly. No I always understand what goes on in my dreams. Its very rare that I don’t have a single clue k if I’m doing something, why am I doing it, and why the hell it appeared in my dream.
        Yes we do are. Lets call us Creep Cueens. :p
        hahah. We do have studying to do, we are just lazy ass procrastinators.
        Oh good to know that. Suno, bilkul thak kay sona. Thats how you trick your brain. Want to know other dream hacks?
        Gosh I have read and searched so much about dreams k buss. I am going crazy. Ek weird waqia bataun? Balkay let it be my first email to you. Address wohi hai na?

        Like

  10. Your descriptions ufff made me scared!
    I too am scared of spiders!

    Haha HP inspired? Oh just ignore that I laughed.Please and thank you. 😛
    I would not want to take a field trip with you there. XD

    Oh and I had to tell you something about talking about nightmares.Can I?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am sorry to scare you 😦
      And lol you did laugh. Too late. You are coming with me. Atleast I can present you to Aragog and while you are paralysed with fear, I shall make a hasty exit. Kidding. I am not evil.
      Yess please for sure. Share away. I would love to hear.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No no it was FUN 😀 Like you said FREE horror movie/story! 😎
        Haha XD you will be tooo scared to even take me. 😛

        Its not a story. It is that some people say that you shouldn’t tell about your bad dreams.I don’t exactly know the reason but I have heard elder people say it.

        Btw you are afraid or spiders.Why?
        Because they are insects or that they can be poisonous and can kill you. XD
        When people who aren’t scared of spiders make fun of me I remind them of poison. 😛

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Lol true that.
        Yeah I have heard that too. I don’t know if its a superstition or if there is an Islamic ruling based on it. I intend to find out.
        Yesss I get the shudders.Australia is land of snakes and spiders and their hairy legs are ewww. No offense to spider lovers. But the way they walk again *shudders*

        Liked by 1 person

      1. It is beautiful alhumdulillah. You can have peace and quiet as well as bustling cities. The quiet suburbs are separate than the city so you can have both which is great. Also not that much traffic then India haha

        Liked by 1 person

  11. I have recurring nightmares about the zombie apocalypse. In vivid detail. I always dream that someone in my gang is bitten but is hiding the wound, until it’s too late. And don’t we all cherish our loved ones more than ourselves?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Ha yes the scene in Harry Potter also freaked me out, I hate spiders too. Yeah the worst dreams I’ve had were when either my husband died or he wanted a divorce. But luckily he was there to convince me that neither of these were true 😛 I hope you get some good dreams and restful sleep.

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