So how does this arranged marriage thing work exactly? I know that there is the match-making rishta karaane waali aunty and relatives and matrimonial sites involved. And then one sends photos and a proper bio-data.
For those who don’t know the insides working on how to meet your dream guy/girl (desi arrange marriage version), allow me to explain. I am relatively new to it as well. Not foreign to the concept but I am an actual participant this time so I get to know the deets. Somewhat. Anyway,so what happens is, the parents tell everyone that their daughter/son is of age and that they are looking for a groom/bride. So those who are hiding and withholding back their eligible kids, bring it on. Some parents even put up their sons/daughters for auction on matrimonial sites where interested people view the profiles and sell off their sons in return for daughter-in-laws and vice versa. And then there are rishta aunties : you know those aunties whose eyes are magnified under glasses and who eye you up and down and they only attend parties to see which sheep are good for purchase. They get paid if the proposals come to fruition. To be honest this match-making tendency is a genetic trait in all desi aunties and they love pairing any and every boy to any and every girl even if they don’t get paid. It’s a charity work. Us kids are the charity cases.
Once both parties are set up, comes the exchange of photos and biodata. The bio-data is just like a resume you would send for a job and I guess it makes sense because of course I am applying for the role of a wife (duh) and if they approve of my bio-data, I get accepted. You also have to mention the qualifications of parents,how many siblings (what they do,if they are married) plus jobs and contact details of paternal uncles (I know,weird). And all this I get.
Next comes the formal meeting. How do you know in the meetings and phone calls prior to marriage if he is the right person for you? Even a drug-dealer looks innocent while on trams and trains. You can’t tell if the person is being genuine or not. Plus what questions do you ask? How do you tell if he is an underground criminal or hiding a girlfriend underground? How do you tell if he is wearing a wig or is that his real hair? How do you know whether he is not that weird psycho protective one who won’t allow you to blog after marriage? What if he has an annoying habit of biting his nails, or scratching his ear incessantly, or spitting at every corner? What if he has those racky coughs or snores loudly or laughs weirdly like hyenas? What if he smokes?Is it ok to ask whether he knows how to cook? How much he earns?Does he have a short temper? (I guess after all these questions, I will have the short temper question answered 😛 ) How do you know if he doesn’t really want to marry but his parents want him to? How do you know if he is being forcefully married? He would hate me then. Also do you look him in the eyes and talk to appear confident or is that considered brash and bold by desi standards? Do you ask too many questions in the first meeting or leave it for later?I mean will there even be a later? And how do you know you have clicked? I have too many awkward situations in my life to handle that happens involuntarily and then this??? This is straight up jumping into the most awkward pretentious situation ever.
I guess its the fear of the unknown.I am not bashing the concept of arranged marriage but it doesn’t look too promising either.Most of my friends have been arranged married happily. And in sha Allah I will too. The destination is out there. It’s the journey that scares me. This whole process of getting to know the right guy. Of making him the right guy for you. Of leaving your family behind. Of entering into a brand new family.My friends have done it. Millions of other girls have gone through the process. It won’t be that bad right? Right?
That last picture? Hilarious! 😀
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Thank you 😀
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You are just out of this world Aaliyah Ma’am.
Ab mujhe bhi padhana shuru kar dein…
How do you do this?
I read it before too. But, I am laughing harder this time even. 😀 😛
Well written. Well done.
And all the best to you and your husband.
May Allah certify his enormous blessing upon you every moment.
Go for it. And keep blogging quite often. 🙂
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loved the auction part of it and rest is superbly written,
nothing to say about this topic…
god bless you dear 🙂
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Thank you so much.
May God bless you too 🙂
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🙂
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Truth. Satire. Great humour.
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Thank you 🙂
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This is SO FUNNY! And I’m not even indian, but we have similar traditions I would say! 😉
But sister, don’t be afraid of marriage, it’s a wonderful thing alhamdulillah 🙂
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Hahah yeah most cultural traditions are one or the same.
And yeah I know, but it is still scaring me nevertheless. Keep me in your prayers.
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Hey aaliyah you write a very nice post i like it lekin aapka rishta aaya hai kya shaadi ho rhi hai kya ? Kyo ?
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Thank you.
Jee abhi rishta aaya hai. Finalise huwa toh shadi bhi hojaayegi in sha Allah.
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Oh my darlin 🙂 a lot of the traditions you mentioned are similar to Tajik culture but my husband obviously isn’t super traditional or he wouldn’t have married me :p I’m sorry for all the stress and worry you are going through. No matter what our traditions are marriage always causes anxiety. I know everything will work out for you inshALLAH! But might not want to watch that arranged tv show I blogged about. Honestly the Indian couple are annoying and I don’t want you to be negatively affected by television
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Awww thank you Star. Thank you for the wishes and prayers and your sweet and funny comment. I laughed at the arranged TV show haha. Now that the exam is over, I might watch an episode to have a laugh and destress. And of course I shall keep in mind that reality shows are not really reality.
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Now girlie you have to tell me is this just a post to inform us of arrange marriages .. or….. are you going through the process? If so good luck hun!.. Nothing beats desi aunties and their gossiping, especially at weddings! I remember, when I was around 14, I went to Pakistan for a holiday wedding, and I got FOUR proposals .. FOUR! I WAS 14! Needless to say, I was so shocked and scared, because I wasn’t used to that here in the UK. Now, I am just thankful that I am married .. and no longer have to deal with “proposals” . This post did make me giggle though!
Saira
throughtheglitterglass.wordpress.com
xxx
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Haha how about both? Thank you.
And wow at 14? Lol poor you. That just means you were perfiity perfect at a young age itself haha.
I am glad my post made you giggle. Thanks for sharing. I am not that stressed anymore 😀
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Hahaa its ok lovely ! Haha either that or the Pakistanis over there were very desperate (haha!).. Aww good to know girl !
Saira xxx
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Is this a random thought turned post or is this your vent from reality? Hoping it’s the former and then waiting to continue the discussion 😉
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Its the latter but I am still up for the discussion 🙂
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Woah! Any congratulations due? Or is it just the beginning of the ordeal?
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Beginning of the ordeal. No congratulations due yet.
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Sincere advice : try for a lengthy courtship.
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Before or after marriage? Haha with arranged marriage, its only the latter 😛 That’s the thing that scares me. Strangers. Marrying one.
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Before marriage. Or does it not happen in your culture? Our arrange marriages allow courtships before marriage, after engagement.
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Hmmm I don’t know if I shall have an engagement period. Coz I live overseas. And its hard. I don’t know how to explain without getting personal. But I get your point.
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Let’s continue the conversation off WordPress. You have my email ID in your dashboard’s comment section, if you wish to connect. 🙂
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Awesome. I shall check it now. Thanks Adi. See you on the other side 🙂
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hahahahaa!!! Woww… I guess we are in a lot of similar situations!! My parnts too are in frantic search of a Raja for me! 😛 hahahahaaha!!!! This is sooo good!! ❤ truly if you get married to someone who doesn't let you blog I will be a murderer! 😉 😛 ahahahaha! ❤ In sha Allah may Allah bless you with the best guy and may he support you as a friend, and be your prince charming! 😉 Ameen!!
❤ the images… perfectly apt for this! 😛
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Awwww good luck Ish. I hope you get the Raja of your dreams 😀
Hahaha well I had to turn my stress into a funny write. Glad you enjoyed 😀
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hahahaah!! 😛 Waiting me?? never.. hahah I wanna enjoy my life as free bird for now! 😛 heheh I love all your works! :* ❤
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Yeah I know what you mean. Cherish these moments 😀
Thanks Ish. I am flattered. :*
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heheh :* :* ❤ 😉
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hahaha, thank you Dear for making me laugh! the pictures you put are so funny! and indeed what you put in humor is a big question and concern. I will share with you one of my funny incidents when I was going through this situation which starts early , in your teens in india .There was one Aunty who sent proposal for his son but she was too sick to come to our home , so she invited us to her place, the son was not there as he will see girl once his parents have approved, OKay. Then come the father of guy with his Diary and sat next to me, He had his questions Ready, most funny question s I remember , Beta what is your height , and your weight ,an you write it here ? the mother was like, O in your pcitures you look fat but you arent fat ?? Wow nice to tell me 😀 and for tea I told them no sugar for me please, Why beta you have diabetes ? 😀 😀 I kept making faces to my mom and she kept giving me sorry looks ! and at home we had good laugh about them all 😛
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OMG Sana this was soooo funny to read. I had a good chuckle. Elders in India seriously!! You can only shake your head at their antics. Uncle with a diary LOL and aunty’s unfiltered comments on appearance, I can totally relate. Poor you.
I am still laughing imagining the scenario. Thanks for sharing.
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hahaha I was laughing even writing it but your post sent me to the past so shared with you a throwback memory 😀 :D, I have many more but this one was most hilarious ,and it is a sad reflection of our society in India how all these things are so normal !
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Yaay I am glad. If you have many more, I would love to hear haha. Maybe make a post out of it. I am sure many others will come forward with their absurd stories too.
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hahahaha 😀 good idea!
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Ahahha poor Sana!!
Hey those marriage stories make me wonder..
Did your parents agree that you married an algerian man?
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hahaha yeah,after seeing all such great men they agreed happily 😉
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Haha. This was really hilarious!! 😂😂😂 btw, I’m curious about your Indo-Algerian love story. Write about it sometime?
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hahaha , I will 🙂
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Even I got a couple of funny instances 😀 actually I had that in mind while starting the blog. Then thought I’d wait for some more.. 😂😇
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hehhehe..waiting to read them..
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😀
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Marry someone who doesn’t let you blog…
http://www.moviefancentral.com/images/pictures/review13959/hotel-transylvania-001.jpg?1413922535
I wont let you!
In sha Allah everything will go well and you will live and blog together happily ever after.
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OMG Inky you are the best. That photo was hilarious azz.
Hahaha only time will tell his preferences.
And jazakallah for your sweet dua. Blog happily ever after hahaha that was good.
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Haha XD thank you.
Waeeyaki ❤
In sha Allah you will.
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Haha… congratulations on entering one of the most exciting/nerve wracking experiences of your life! Sending prayers that you find your Mr. Right and live happily ever after 🙂
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Thank you Diya for your heartfelt wishes and prayers 🙂 I hope so too.
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Aww lol Aaliyah I know what you mean since I’ve seen it happening so many places but I hope you end up getting together with someone you actually enjoy living with and who doesn’t have all those nasty habits!
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Haha thank you revels. Some say that you end up adjusting with those nasty habits!! What a nasty thought haha.
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Leyla shares all your fears 😂 #JustSayin’ 😎
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I knoww. That’s why I enjoy your story. Its relatable. And I hope I get a Sinan too #JustSayin’ 😜
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You tyrna’ get married?
… My condolences :p
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Me tryna’?? More like society is tryna’ get me married.
Thanks Hiba for the condolence wishes. Really meant heaps at this hard and trying time 😛
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Oh, ha, well you’ll get through it. Best of luck :p
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Thanks Hiba 🙂
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Apka rishta aya ha? Mubarak ho xD
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Jee aya hai.
Shukriya aur khair mubarak Nayab 🙂
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Good Luck though I hope u dont get married soon.
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Jee dua kijiye 😂😂 and thank you haha
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